What is Lagom?
“Ya, ya, dat’s de idee.” My Swedish grandparents would say this often, bringing the conversation together. “Yes, Yes. That’s the idea.” Lagom. Just the right amount … appropriate … “around the team.”
I grew up in San Pedro, California on 29th Street with the good fortune to have my Swedish grandparents and uncles six blocks away, on 23rd St. I would like to think they influenced me with their practical thinking and their non-showiness. I hope I am that.
I love being Swedish, if American born. It is true, Swedes tend to be mistaken for cold fish. I know I’ve been mistaken for being unfriendly.
When my husband and I went to Sweden, I was going through one of the toughest times in my life — overcoming cancer. I learned of this great word “lagom” — balance, sharing, moderation, all in good time. It is a word meant for me — couldn’t be more appropriate in its appropriateness.
I find Swedes both extraordinarily polite and generous. Unfriendly? Cold fish? Nah. We blend. We share. Lagom is rather Zen. I like not to hold on so tightly, it only creates angst anyway. Breathe, share, find spaciousness. We are one with our world and each other. Grasping, owning, hoarding only separate us, inviting loneliness.
My friend, Lisa, knew I loved the word and concept so much, she made me a necklace. I wear it everyday.
Lagom.
A piece published in Slate by Lola Akinmade Akerstrom beautifully sums it up. Thank you Slate and Ms. Akerstrom! Sweden’s lagom: The single word that sums up the Swedish psyche.